Thursday, April 30, 2009

There is something exciting...

Yesterday, we went with Ana and Yssy to Berlin, to see Sia in concert. I use the word "yesterday" deliberately, because we left Warsaw at 11a.m., and arrived back within 24 hours. And it's a 12 hour roundway trip.

The governmental area of downtown Berlin, around the Hauptbahnhof, is absolutely awestriking. Wide open spaces, clean architectural lines, not a speck of dirt in sight. And very little human presence. The place seemed deserted. It all felt very Gattaca, except in muted (though not oppressive or dull) greys instead of golden browns. And then there was the gothic Reichstag building topped with this futuristic, glass-and-steel dome that nevertheless seemed perfectly integrated into the design.

The concert itself seemed awfully short. Sia was adorable, as always, but much less talkative than in Dublin. I guess that's the difference not being in an English-speaking country and not doing the last performance of the tour makes.


We had several hours to kill before the morning train, so we went wandering around Kreuzberg. But before we even got there, we stumbled upon this... I don't even know what to call it. You walk along this brick wall right by a multi-lane, busy street just off the Ostbahnhof (think the Powązki part of Okopowa, the train station being Klif), and suddenly there's an opening in the wall, from which you hear the sounds of some vaguely tribal music. Beyond it lies a courtyard with some brightly coloured barracks to the sides, undoubtedly housing a bunch of clubs (this time - think Dobra). The inside of the brick wall is painted with vivid, rastafarian graffiti. And then, of course, there's a ramp. Leading up to an artificial, hilltop beach overlooking the river, complete with a beachball net, a tiki-style bar, and the almost opressive smell of weed. We wandered in there at around 11p.m. so I've no idea how the place looks like in sunlight, but the mere fact that you could step off a busy street in fucking industrial, post-socialist East Berlin and find yourself in this pocket universe, cut off from the city bustle... So uncanny.

In Kreuzberg proper we found a relentlessly stylish bar called "Mysliwska" with a photo of Cybulski hanging over the toilet entrance. There was also another one, much more to my liking, with live music, and some sort of secret passage leading out of the men's room (people kept going in, but reappeared out of sequence, and only after an hour or so), but I don't think we ever learned what it was called. Not for lack of trying. We ate mostly fast food (either because we were in a hurry, or because it was the middle of the night). At our last meal in Kreuzberg, the Turkish kebab guy started talking to us in Polish, and told us he has a villa in Zielona Góra.


I returned home with an all too familiar feeling of frustrated wistfulness, as if throughout the entire trip I'd been trying to make out with someone through a windshield - my system's fucked up way of saying it really liked what it saw.

[All photos courtesy of Ana]

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Petrie

I could never fully relate to family dramas. I figured it was because my family was exceptionally issue-free. Turns out the reason was my arrested development, and now that I've finally left the nest, I find myself getting a crash-course of all the cliches you could think of. I had them over for dinner last Friday and the whole family dynamic got turned inside out. It's like this heaving, freaky blob that's mutating at the speed of light, up to a point where I'm not sure where we'll be at in a week's time.

I cooked an ungodly amount of pasta with feta cheese, olives and sundried tomatoes, and there was a lot of leftovers. The pasta turned out to be surprisingly good though, so I helped myself to two offerings today. Ergo, no lunch for tomorrow. The whole food logistics thing still eludes me.

Got a haircut. I kinda like it, but there's an issue. I'll see if I can work around it.

Need lots of random stuff for the apartment. Mop head. Scissors. Sugar bowl. Sofa. Extension cord. Salad bowl. Bowls in general. A stick of dynamite to blow the fucking armchair up. I already bought a big-ass knife, a bedspread, and new curtains. They need to be shortened though. Sigh.

You know how sometimes the only way to salvage some relative sense of self worth is by realizing that luckily there isn't enough time in the world for this other person to achieve everything they're capable of? Yeah, I figured you wouldn't.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Shiny

A lot of apartment stuff going on, but I don't really have time to go into that right now, so I'm just posting this brilliant disclaimer I found in one of the festival dialogue lists:

Translators & laboratories: the director, mr. Pasolini, has personally written, timed and layed out the Sinhala to English subtitles. He has requested that you only subtitle what he has subtitled, that you keep his timings and that you keep his layout and punctuation as closely as possible.

That's some hands-on directing.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Deployment

I've been feeling pretty weird for the past few days. Unsettled. This moving-in-installments business is more destabilizing than I thought. Last night I couldn't sleep because suddenly, for no apparent reason, I was convinced I hadn't locked the door on my way out, and someone probably ransacked the place. I went there today after the Easter breakfast under the pretext of moving some of my stuff. Of course everything was fine, and I celebrated by cleaning a window. One out of four. Small victory - small celebration.

Still no idea what to do with the bedroom layout. There's this horrible armchair that's taking up space that I can't get rid of (landlord's decree). And I've no bookshelves yet. And I'm not sure about the positioning of the desk. So that's been keeping me up too. I just want to get it over with though, so I'll probably transport the desktop to the new place tomorrow and that will be that.

Interior design conundrums aside - the only downside of the transition I'm concerned with right now is all the time I'l now be losing worrying about and foraging for food. But I imagine I'll have bigger fish to fry (pun! kinda!) once - finally rid of the family background static - I actually feel the full brunt of the L word. Speaking of which - the new Bat for Lashes is out, and the chorus on this thing amazing (though my favorite is still Glass).

Saturday, April 4, 2009

The Chinese were wrong

For reasons not really worth getting into, I hit the Internet to read up a bit on the US public debt. After a while I started feeling as if I were listening to the intro of some postapocalyptic cyberpunk video game. And it's actually not the first time I had that feeling - I got a very similar, surreal vibe when I read last year that Iceland went bankrupt. I guess I'm gonna have to start getting used to it.

It's absolutely terrifying and thrilling at the same time. How often do you witness the collapse of a true empire? It's like we're Byzantium watching Rome fall, except, you know, not at all.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Chwyty

Szukalem polskich piesni religijnych, bo musze przelozyc jakis hymn do filmu, i znalazlem z pomoca bohdana te oto strone ktorej layout doprowadzil do powstania dosyc frapujacych tytulów. Ponizej probka:

Gdy srebrnikow garsc chwyty
Getsemani - spojrz, tam w gorze chwyty
Jakbym bardzo chcial chwyty
Krzyz a na nim Bog chwyty (anty-syty, I suppose)
Naucz nas, Panie chwyty
Oto nadchodza dni chwyty (brzmi nienajlepiej)
Pewnej nocy chwyty (Suddenly intruder)
Rozpiety na ramionach chwyty
Z Twego boku, Chryste chwyty
Zagubiony slad chwyty

Dostalem totalnej glupawki. A niektore i bez chwytow sa masakrycznie ("Na przydroznym krzyzu wykonawca"? WTF?)

Monday, March 30, 2009

Rentboy

On Wednesday, I'm getting the keys to my very first apartment. I'm looking forward to a life revolving around making ends meet and eating cardboard seasoned with cardboard leftovers from the previous day.

It's a 10 minute walk from my parents', even closer to the public transport hubs, and a stone's throw away from the biggest local open-air market. It's smallish, but nice. I'm currently consumed with issues of Internet access and furniture - I need some sort of table/desk for The Room (there's only one, so I don't really know what to call it), and a sofa for the kitchen. I know it sounds weird, but the kitchen's kinda big, and when I went to see the apartment, instead of chairs, there was this purple sofa (unfortunately the previous tenant is taking it with him), and I just loved the idea.

Especially since you can bet I'll have Internet access in the kitchen as well. Even if it means wiring the whole place. I'll have to look into wifi. Can you have both? Reliable, cable broadband for the desktop, and magical airborne Internet for laptop youtube on the loo?

Luckily Demencja's a total ebay freak - seriously, to the point of being certifiable - and she's busy scouring the land for good deals. Actually, she already found a huge pine table for PLN 70 (USD 20, for my huge international readership).

Crazy, crazy stuff.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Shit I pilfered

I found this on gofugyourself a little while back. You can get a few good minutes of giggles out of it, and that's even before you start wondering why Mary-Kate's forehead was redacted.

Then there was this, but I don't remember where I stole it from.

And finally, my favorite movie poster of the year so far:


Kings and Fools

There's this new series called Kings, starring Ian McShane of Deadwood fame, and some other people. It is set in an alternate reality, in a small, fictional, and by all appearances pretty much absolute monarchy located on the eastern coast of North America (its capital is a NYC lookalike called Shiloh). Sounds pretty nifty, right? And it is. Unfortunately, it is also offensively stupid. In freezeframe it's resplendent, but the moment the subject comes back to life, there's gurgling, and drool, and quite possibly feces. And the setup was so promising. The visual tone of the show is pretty spectacular - the city seems quite otherworldly, even though it's obviously New York. A little dab of mysticism nicely rounds up the "dark fable" feel, and there's high politics and court intrigue aplenty. But the actual story...

*spoilers ahead*

The kingdom's embroiled in a positional war (how that's even possible with current technology - no idea, but whatever) with its military superior. The word "outgunned" makes several appearances in the pilot episode. But then it somehow forces its opponent into an armstice by way of a grand symbol - the destruction of one of its invincible Goliath tanks. A wee bit mythical, but fine. Then, the kingdom - for pretty plausible reasons I won't go into - executes a sneak attack against said miltarily superior nation, breaking the truce it just achieved. Fine. And then the kid who blew up their tank before, charges at the enemy lines with a bloody sheet (his brother just died, y'know), and delivers a mindbogglingly ridiculous speech about his nagging deathwish, which convinces them to sign a peace treaty.

Let me translate this into our reality for a moment. It's 1938. Poland, for some reason, invades Germany, and gets its ass handed to it on what used to be its silver platter. Then, a young,Slavic boy is spotted on the battlefield, brandishing a bloody rag. He spews gibberish. Hitler gives peace a chance.

That's not all. There is also a state luncheon scene, in which our young miracle worker of simple origins is addressed directly by a foreign head of state and - would you believe it? - deftly finds just the right response. Which involves saying his brother just died, while sporting an aw-shucks smirk*. I shit you not. And a scene in which the peace treaty doesn't get signed based on some technicality, AFTER which the boy wonder grabs the departing foreign head of state by their arm... and somehow that becomes why the treaty wasn't signed. And, finally, the king ordering the kid murdered, and then changing his mind because the episode is almost over and the writers haven't figured out a good reason for him to change his mind. I'm not sure if that explanation actually made its way into the dialogue, but neither did any other one, so...

Damn. And I really wanted to like it.

* which, granted, is an acting WTF, and shouldn't be blamed on the writers, unless the script actually instructed the guy to grin like an idiot

Monday, March 23, 2009

Sunday, March 22, 2009

The finale

I hate to break it to you, Gaius, but the things you mentioned? That's not God. Those are plot holes.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Why is everybody whispering?

Went to Ana's today. Marta made quite possibly the best soup I've ever eaten, and some Indian-style chicken. We stuffed ourselves full of it watching several episodes of the unintentionally hilarious La Femme Nikita (boy, it did not age well) punctuated by clips from 07 zglos sie and The Colbert Report. Good times.

The event was concluded with the following conversation:

me: ...I'm still waiting for a full list - I just know they're gonna show Savage Grace, which is a pretty bad movie.
marta: Is it the one about the family that invented bakelite?
me: What?! No! Why?
marta: Well I remember you telling me about a movie about the people who invented bakelite...
me: That wasn't me.
marta: I'm sure it was you.
me: That's impossible. I don't even know what bakelite is.
marta: It's this synthetic stuff... What's the movie about then?
me: Nothing, really. Incest and dysfunction for the most part. Mother-son stuff.
marta: And you're sure they didn't invent bakelite?
me: No! There's no mention of bakelite throughout the entire movie!
marta: Maybe they're the descendants of the people who invented bakelite?

At that point Marta's relentless pursuit of the bakelite angle overwhelmed me and I dissolved into hysterical laughter. The mystery of the bakelite movie remains unsolved.

Edit: Mystery solved. It was the bakelite movie. I'm stunned.

Friday, March 20, 2009

A world of yes

Photo by Hama Sanders. I love absolutely everything about it.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

By the by

Let's talk terrible opening credit songs.

Dollhouse and United States of Tara.

There. I'm glad we had this chat.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Prepare to be routed

The router saga continues. In short, I bought a replacement, but was charged 199PLN instead of the 69PLN that I expected. Initially I went along with it (in my world, money < dealing with crap), but as the day went by I got increasingly annoyed - I mean, that's a LOT of breakfasts - and finally decided to go back and clear it up.

Turns out that brand of routers wasn't in the store's database, so the checkout girl had to input the code manually, or something, and by default charged me for a wifi router, even though I bought an arcane ADSL brick. I got my money back, but had to return the router too, and buy it all over again. And when I did, the lady at the cash register tried to charge me 199PLN for it. This time I was prepared though, and instantly sunk a shiv into her left eye.

Well, not really.

The best part is, I took a good look at all the routers this time, and yeah, they do offer a wifi model from that maker, but for 139PLN.

Nothing else to report.