I've finally experienced this thing most of my friends complained about at one point or another - having all this stuff you want to write down, and losing all interest in going through with it as soon as you sit down at the computer. Hence the prolonged - for me at least - silence.
Work has really picked up. The festival preparations are gradually getting more and more frenzied, but we haven't yet hit the hysteria threshold. Me mostly because I have no way of gauging our progress and so I'm completely oblivious as to how much work awaits us still. Then again, there's the other translating stuff I'm doing at the moment - nothing gruelling, luckily, but the deadlines are absurd. I definitely feel the strain, but at the same time i'm almost grateful for being able to alternate between the two when one gets too stressful or unpleasant.
And things did get unpleasant at one point. The moment I got back from England, I had almost simultaneous head-on collisions with two translators who didn't take too kindly to my proofreading. To make things worse I wasn't without fault either, at least as far as the tone of my initial messages was concerned. It's all over now, and won't ever happen again (one of the few perks of this sort of job - I get to pick who I work with), but I just don't handle that sort of shit too well. But that was literally the only grain of salt so far. I get along with my current boss swimmingly, we babble away on gtalk all day long and I think it's safe to say we're having a blast.
Ana left for the US and it's very weird, even with the transitional phase of her being totally overworked and zombiefied over the last few months. With her gone, and the family no longer providing the background static, it truly feels like I'm flying without a net. Except flying implies motion, and this is just some sort of... stasis, I suppose. Not unpleasant, but confounding.
I feel like I don't see my friends at all. I just don't have the time. And somehow that doesn't really feel bad either. Things just move forward, and I with them, carried by the current. The loneliness thing just got misplaced somehow, I don't even know when. And obviously I'm not exactly turning the place upside down, trying to find it.
They're admitting dad on Monday. They've found another type of cancer in the meantime.
Maybe I'm just not processing all this properly. Maybe processing is overrated.
Work has really picked up. The festival preparations are gradually getting more and more frenzied, but we haven't yet hit the hysteria threshold. Me mostly because I have no way of gauging our progress and so I'm completely oblivious as to how much work awaits us still. Then again, there's the other translating stuff I'm doing at the moment - nothing gruelling, luckily, but the deadlines are absurd. I definitely feel the strain, but at the same time i'm almost grateful for being able to alternate between the two when one gets too stressful or unpleasant.
And things did get unpleasant at one point. The moment I got back from England, I had almost simultaneous head-on collisions with two translators who didn't take too kindly to my proofreading. To make things worse I wasn't without fault either, at least as far as the tone of my initial messages was concerned. It's all over now, and won't ever happen again (one of the few perks of this sort of job - I get to pick who I work with), but I just don't handle that sort of shit too well. But that was literally the only grain of salt so far. I get along with my current boss swimmingly, we babble away on gtalk all day long and I think it's safe to say we're having a blast.
Ana left for the US and it's very weird, even with the transitional phase of her being totally overworked and zombiefied over the last few months. With her gone, and the family no longer providing the background static, it truly feels like I'm flying without a net. Except flying implies motion, and this is just some sort of... stasis, I suppose. Not unpleasant, but confounding.
I feel like I don't see my friends at all. I just don't have the time. And somehow that doesn't really feel bad either. Things just move forward, and I with them, carried by the current. The loneliness thing just got misplaced somehow, I don't even know when. And obviously I'm not exactly turning the place upside down, trying to find it.
They're admitting dad on Monday. They've found another type of cancer in the meantime.
Maybe I'm just not processing all this properly. Maybe processing is overrated.
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