Good morning!

I dreamt that I was being terrorized by someone/something monstrous, and that I had one last chance to try to kill it - before something horrible happened - by severing its spine at the base of the skull with a chisel. The horror of the climactic moment was such that I woke up, and felt my right hand still going through a slack, paraplegic version of the stabbing motion.

No comment

My router is in its death throes, so I went online to check exactly what model it is and what kind of replacement I should be looking for. In the process I familiarized myself with its features, which as it turns out include "Spectral compatibility with POTS" and - more importantly - "Dying Gasp Support (Population Option)".

Err...

Voracious!

As I was looking for this image (told ya!) I happened upon something nearly as delightful. Click here (possibly a bit NSFW) for a stunning example of image/caption cohesion. Frankly, I don't know why they even bothered with text - the photo conveys the message so perfectly.

9 to 5

A while ago I read somewhere that Miss Croatia went on some Croatian talk show and declared her concern over the rise of "faggotry" in her country. The writer of that little news item was understandably upset, and proceeded to mock the girl for using such a - curious? outdated? - expression. And I thought to myself: Wow. Somewhere out there is the ultimate translator - so perfectly invisible he actually made someone assume the people of Croatia speak English on their national TV channels.

In completely unrelated news: I've decided to try and stop blaming everything on American ignorance.

I'm sure it's very stylish

Man, the crisis has really the financial sector hard. I suspected no one would believe me if I told them what enticing offer I found on my bank's login page, so just went ahead and made a screencap. Won't be funny if you don't know Polish, but I'm off the clock, and also seriously doubt anyone reading this has that problem.

Extreme bonding

Either way - he's disabled

Runners-up: black fags and an abundance of penis.

Always accomodating

When I moved the mouse cursor over an item in the Facebook "news" feed, I was presented with the following options, which I found absolutely hilarious in their utilitarism: the somewhat intuitive More About Paulina, but also the intrinsically facepalm-y Less About Paulina.