Had a fun night out. Met a cute fetus. Went urrrrr gurrrr blerrrr at him. Then learned he's straight and charmed the shit out of him. Like a motherfucking Ninja of the Fruitless Orchard.
I'm not even surprised. I just want my superpowers WHEN I ACTUALLY NEED THEM. For once.
Pauli tells me Simon Amstell did a whole standup set about just that. We're gonna watch it on Tuesday. Because misery loves company? Bullshit, everyone loves company.
Because I've no other plans. *drops mic*
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