It has all happened before

I remember that when Game of Thrones was about to premiere on HBO, I resolved to finally read the book asap, so that the series wouldn't spoil it for me. Unfortunately, with my reading speed, that plan quickly fell through. But as the series got more interesting, I started trying to catch up, and after the last episode I got so hungry for more that I actually did. And now I find myself teetering on the brink, reluctant to read on for fear of the book spoiling the series. Funny symmetry. And a surprisingly faithful and well-executed adaptation. They hardly left anything out.

In the meantime, I did another historical piece for pajiba, and one of the commenters wrote that they should film it and run it as a double feature with the next series of Game of Thrones, which got me thinking that, well... yeah, it would be a good fit, since Song of Ice and Fire is pretty much history at its best. And then I got lost for like two hours, matching big European showdowns and succession crises with the current Game of Thrones chessboard, until I came up with this:

The 30 Years War (of Westeros)

featuring:

The Habsburgs as House Lannister
Bohemia as House Tully
Denmark as House Stark
The Palatinate (Evangelical Union) as House Baratheon
Transylvania as House Arryn
Poland as the Highland Tribes
England as House Greyjoy
The United Provinces as House Martell
France as House Tyrell
The Ottoman Empire as the Dothraki Horde
Sweden as The Others

Obviously, at this point I've yet no idea how the Greyjoys, Martells and Tyrells will actually play into the scheme of things, but I'm still delighted by how it all ALMOST matches up. You could even split up Habsburgs to account for the Austrian ones (Joffrey and Cersei), and Spain (Tywin and Jaime), with the latter bearing the brunt of the warfare, and providing the funding. If The Tyrells end up financing Renly, that will be very much like France aiding the Protestants, England makes sense as Greyjoys (what with the navy and stuff), and should Dorne get actively involved, it has Netherlands written all over it, grudge and all. The Ottomans in the east, not a direct threat yet, but a dangerous enigma, and of course no one expects Gustavus Adolphus sweeping down from beyond the Wall. The only thing I'm not quite happy with is the Poland/Transylvania dynamic - it would make more sense for Transylvania to be the highlanders, since it was Gabor who got sicked after Poland, not the other way around, but that would flip their loyalties, as Poland aided the Emperor. I mean Lannisters.

Come to think of it, maybe that's my next pajiba piece.

Intermission

Will try to write something about Cracow, or the season premiere of Damages, or both, at some point, but right now I should really be working, so instead here's a glance at what is probably my favorite political entity of all time:

At the end of the eighteenth century, the Germanies, as they were then called, were composed of an infinite number of territories, some of them fairly large, most of them minute. Their masters, who were absolute monarchs as far as their subjects were concerned, were themselves dependent on an elected emperor, the head of the Holy Roman Empire of Germany. In the past the Holy Roman Emperor, who was the virtual heir to the crown of Charlemagne, had possessed undeniable power, but since the treaty of Westphalia [ending the Thirty Years' War in 1648] his real strength had declined to the point where it was no more than a moral authority which made him, like the pope, one of the spiritual masters of Europe. This elective sovereignty had moreover become hereditary in the house of Austria, the most powerful dynasty within the Holy Roman Empire and the only one which commanded sufficient prestige to earn the votes of the great electors. [They] were nine in number (six lay: Bavaria, Bohemia, Saxony, Brandenburg, the Palatinate, Hanover; and three ecclesiastical: Maine, Cologne, Trier-Coblenz) (...)

The Holy Roman Empire had tried its best to unite the Germanies, so different from one another that the only link between them was the post conducted by the house of Turn und Taxis, in blue coaches which ran non-stop across the vast empire. The princes of Turn und Taxis, grand masters of the Posts since the early sixteenth century, earned from this privilege one of the most considerable fortunes of the period. It allowed them to indulge in ostentation far greater than monarchs with greater possessions could afford.

The electorates represented the great powers but there existed as well nearly eight hundred countries. Many only extended over a few square miles but possessed rights as deserving of respect as those of Bavaria or Saxony. The empire was divided into ten circles, and the circle of Swabia alone, for example, included ninety-seven sovereigns, four ecclasiastical princes, fourteen secular princes, twenty-three prelates, twenty-five members of the ban of nobles and thirty imperial cities. Some principalities did not possess a thousand inhabitants, but they considered that their princess, who often lived like modest country gentlemen, equalled the greatest monarchs on earth. They greeted them with remarks of the greatest respect: 'Your most serene pigs have condescended to eat my humble potatoes,' a peasant said to one of these potentates.

Having read all that, can you really blame me for hating Bismarck?